Long story short, I've been working on this post for weeks and delayed posting it for no particular reason. Earlier this evening I was at my friend BF's apartment, checking email on my phone after dinner and while checking blog comments, I accidentally deleted two of them (not so accurate with the iPhone touch quite yet) from a bloggers who I did not recognize. One was asking me about my faith, a timely question that ties in quite well with this post, and this part of my life that I have not been as forthcoming with...
Every Thursday night I meet with ten other girls ("women") my age in something we call Community Group. It is a Bible study that is also an accountability group, and I would also consider it a support system of girls who are part of each other's lives on a daily, and not just weekly basis.
My faith is not something, up to this point, that I have discussed on my blog, probably because I feel unfit to do so. I love to read and I love to write, but I've never been able to articulate my faith in an eloquent enough way for my standards. Any writing ability I have though, is a God-given gift, and though I'm no Beth Moore or Big Mama, and it has come to my attention that I've not been completely straightforward about my beliefs in this particular forum. In the simplest of terms: I'm a Christian, and I have been saved by grace through faith. I have a personal relationship with Christ, and whether in life's joyous moments or those when I am brought to my knees in prayer or need of forgiveness, He is with me. His love is the single greatest blessing in my life.
The Group I am a part of consists of 10 girls, all my age, who went to three different colleges and all had a link to someone else in the group when we got started. My friends CC and MG went to a leader training seminar some months back, then decided they wanted to try branching off to form one of their own. I walked in the first night last fall to see a friend I have known since childhood, sorority friends and some acquaintances from college, and total strangers. It was the perfect mix.
Friends in the group are teachers, work in real estate development and management, we have a med student, a grad student studying speech pathology, an auditor, a girl who works in youth ministry, a (bi-lingual) family advocate for a non-profit organization, a design school student, etc. Keeps things interesting, I'll tell you that much to be sure. Thus far we have read a book called Lies Women Believe and are currently studying the book of Galatians... a book which has been humbling me, many times a week, as MK and I try to piece together a cohesive study on this book of the Bible; to understand the historical context of it, understand Paul's mission, sort through various theologian's commentaries and see, through all of that, what it is that we, as 23 and 24-year-old girls are supposed to learn from it.
I've come to find through meeting with the Group that many people had a similar post-college crisis as I did, asking themselves, "Who am I? What is my purpose? What am I supposed to do with my life? Where did all these decisions come from?" All of these questions either hit you all at once, or drop into your lap one at a time. Either way, you don't understand the magnitude of them until college is over and you're actually forced to make decisions about you're future, to make a "plan". It's been comforting to find that it's not just me experiencing this.
And you know what's funny? Regardless of my planning or intentions, God often likes to remind me that He's got His own plan for me, and by surrendering and trusting Him, I am fulfilling that plan. Time together with the Group is a hiatus I look forward to at the end of every work week, and the ways in which God has allowed us to contribute substantially to one another's lives in the months we have been meeting is further proof of His blessings in my life.
I'm glad tomorrow is Thursday.
"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."