Sunday afternoons can be a very dark time for some:
The forlorn boyfriend perched on a Jacquard print chair in Anthro, checking ESPN updates on his phone.
The guy sitting outside of the Banana dressing room, head in hands and bored out of his mind while his girlfriend tries to decide between the Jackson and the Martin trousers.
I will never understand women who torture. I was at the airport recently and even saw a couple wearing coordinating Burberry outfits. The horror! I'm not knocking Burberry- a scarf, a tie, a trim on a sweater is a perfectly acceptable amount of their signature print, but I was looking at shirts, vests, luggage, the whole nine yards. In what universe did this man, this grown man, allow himself to go out in public that way?
What I don't understand is the need to drag your other half around Neiman's on a Sunday afternoon to get his opinion on a new pair of Sevens or Citizens, when we all know you like Sevens better anyway. Look at the poor dude, he just wants to hang out with his buddies and eat meat off of a bone. Granted, he probably watched football on Saturday too, but those were college games, which were completely different FYI.
I know that not everyone, not every guy and certainly not every girl cares about football. That's okay. I'm from Texas, so it's necessary to care. My Dad, being the smarty pants that he is, took the time when I was little to teach me the rules of football and basketball when he would have a game on, and then let me ask questions (which I still do) until I felt like I knew what was happening. We frequently watch games together, which is our little father-daughter bonding time. The Dallas Cowboys even won the Super Bowl on my birthday once- deeming it basically the best day ever.
Like a trained poodle, I'll gladly curl up on the couch with the remote enjoy a quiet afternoon of ESPN GameDay or NFL coverage. The great thing about sports is that every game you watch is different- whereas every episode of The Hills is essentially the same. I'm not saying we should all drop everything to make a Fantasy Football team and completely forget about those cashmere sweaters we've been eyeing in the fall J.Crew catalogue, no ma'am. Just don't make your significant other buy one that matches.
If it's quality time you are looking for, then there's probably a guy that wouldn't mind you hanging out next to him on the couch for a few hours. There are many worse ways to spend weekend afternoons then lounging, preferrably Burberry-less, watching your alma mater or Tony Romo run up and down the field.
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
"Today we salute you Mr. Jean Shorts Inventor (Mr. Jean Shorts Inventor)
People insisted that jeans were just pants, apparently those people underestimated your out-of-the-box thinking
(A fashion trail blazer)
Casual enough for a BBQ, formal enough for a family reunion, your multi-dimensional creation handles both duties with ease
(You just said doody)
And what should we call your ground breaking achievement? How about Jorts?(We really love your jorts)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Jorts Inventor, if fashion's a war, you're fighting dirty. (Mr. Jorts Inventor)"
-Real Men of Genius