Breeding Potential

I mentioned in earlier last week that a large group of friends and I went to Joe T. Garcia's for dinner last weekend in Ft. Worth. I didn't delve into many details of last weekend because most of them were completely overshadowed by the huge amount of snow that fell and the fact that we had no power for three days and woe-is-me, but it was actually a lot of fun.

At dinner that night I was sitting next to KR and her brother TR, who was in town visiting for the weekend before he heads to Scottsdale, AZ in a few weeks for spring training. TR's friend J was also with us and before long, we heard them commenting on the waitress serving the table next to ours and discussing her "breeding potential."

Say what?

Allow me to explain, or at least allow me to try and describe this as it was explained to me.

It has come to my attention that there is a contingent of men who do not merely survey a girl as attractive or not, but they actually take into consideration physical qualities such as height, coordination and athletic prowess. The waitress, for example, was brunette, in the 5'8-5'10 range, left-handed (TR's observation) and clearly coordinated, as waitresses are required to be. This qualified said young woman as "a breeder."

TR is an athlete, a baseball pitcher by profession and is 6'5, so in his words, if he were to have kids with a girl who is 5'10, "Do you know what our children could do on the athletic field?"

What indeed.

I had a similar conversation which I filed away for such a time as this at a party last fall. I was in the kitchen at my friends CC and AH's house while they were having people over, and found myself chatting with SR and her husband and LS and her husband.

Fifth wheel: present.

The girls were discussing the conundrum between being tall and wanting to wear heels and the various benefits of low heels and wedges, and the guys somehow ended up talking about the factors that went into choosing their wives. Both of their wives are beautiful blond, and interestingly enough, they are both around the 5'10 mark. They both discussed the fact that marrying a tall woman was definitely to their advantage. Siring future basketball and football stars was mentioned.

I know what you are thinking: compelling and rich.

Men also don't really consider that they also have equal odds of having a girl, but don't tell them that. It's like what Henry VIII's wives did, they just nodded and said "Yep, I can have sons!"

Worked every time.

I'm 5'7 with no shoes on, meaning I am upwards of 5'10-5'11 in heels. The average American male is about 5'10, meaning if I am wearing heels, I'll be looking most guys straight in the eye and maybe scoping out a few premature bald-spots from my birds-eye view. This can sometimes be an issue- it feels unnatural to look down at a guy when you are talking to him, and no one looks their best when they start hunching over.

I always thought that guys were more attracted to short, tiny women as a rule. The kind of women who shop in the petite section of Ann Taylor, where MK and I found ourselves admiring ruffly tank-tops last weekend before wondering aloud: "why are these so SHORT?" I can answer that. Because they are worn by women who are short and therefore wear everything well and who don't have to search for especially-long pants or need borderline could-be-a-minidress-long tank tops because anything shorter and you would see midriff... that's why.

Tangent is over.

So anyway, I was glad to learn, in the most roundabout of ways, that being tall and female is a good thing.

It's good-breeding, in fact.

I have good genes. My father is Danish and my mother is Irish and Native American.

They both have good skin.

-Virginia Madsen